i'm getting upset with myself. to the point that my moods are flipping up and down.. this ain't good. i thought i was able to control my emotions better alr. after all this time, and after all the nonsense. i was lucky to maintain it twice, but i don't think i'll always be this lucky. i don't want to spoil everything that is good now. but yet there's a part of me that's unconsciously reacting towards what i think.

this is insanity & i'm not making particularly much sense. if what i think ain't true. it'll be a fucking joke. if it is true, i'm not sure how i'm going to react either.

but i know the path i'm heading on now isn't a good one. but at the same time it brings me the comfort i'm lacking.

i plead insanity.

some idiot's playing e ukulele downstairs -.-